Part of my story

I remember the footsteps, the very moment when my feet once again came in contact with U.S. soil. Living out of the country for almost a year is more life-changing than I expected, and the transition back isn't what they tell you. I was told to be prepared for reverse culture shock: the hardships with re-immersing into my home culture. What I wasn't told was that I would have to die to the life I left in Costa Rica, despite the Internet, despite Skype calls, despite the benefits of all that technology, the life that I built in Costa Rica is gone. The people that are in it are scattered from Minnesota to Guatemala, and we are all living separate lives now. I know that I will go back to Latin America, but I also know that it will never be the same.

The reality of my grief is something that even I have trouble explaining. Being in Latin America expanded my definition of family, and I came back having people that I consider now as part of mine. It was an incredible experience that I wouldn't trade for anything, and of course I am glad to be home with people that I love, but the transition is so much more difficult, down to the very deepest part of me, than I imagined it would be.

So yesterday, after arriving in Tuscaloosa, my college town that was just devastated by the tornadoes of April 27th, 2011, I was walking along the RiverWalk trying to find a place to sit and read, when I ran into one of my sweet friends! We started talking and then we opened the Bible together - reading Galatians 5 and 6. Those passages are two of the most challenging passages that I have ever read, but they are so rich and so encouraging as well! Paul, the author, talks about the freedom we have in Christ and the life we live by the Spirit.

But by faith we eagerly await through the Spirit the righteousness for which we hope. For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision has any value. The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love. (Galatians 5:5,6)

"The only thing that counts if faith expressing itself through love." Wow. So, he is talking about the law and how the people who try to justify themselves by obeying the law cannot do so, and that living that way negates the presence of grace. That blows legalism out of the water! Instead, Paul is calling them to the freedom that is given to us in Christ with the charge to use that freedom to serve each other. He says, "You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature, rather, serve one another in love." (verse 13) He goes on to say that living by the Spirit means that we won't fulfill our sinful desires. He says,"For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. But if you are under the Spirit, you are not under the law." (verse 17,18)

We experience that conflict every single day. Paul is saying that if we are under the Spirit, walking in step with it, because of that we will be free of the law, replacing our sinful desires with the desires of the Spirit! Will we then be perfect? No! But we are freely given the righteousness of Christ if we believe. Living under the Spirit is true freedom, no matter what the temptations and pleasures of this world tell us.

2 Corinthians 3:17-19 ~

Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into His likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.

My prayer for myself in coming back to the States was that I would be reminded that God's grace is enough for me and that I am full - if I have nothing else in my life, He is enough. He is the only one in my life that is constant, and the only one that was there with me, is still here with me now, and will be with me forever.

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So, in this time of pain and change in my life, I can move forward - not forgetting, but instead, learning to let this past year become a part of my story, knowing that there is hope in being reunited with the people I love here on this earth, and also, for eternity. But for now, I belong in Alabama, and this place is also a gift with people that I love and great opportunities. Life is such a crazy, hard thing. And as the mom from P.S. I Love You says, none of us make it out alive. But that doesn't mean there isn't hope.

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To my friends and family in Latin America, I love you so much and I miss you every moment. I hope that you are finding encouragement where you are and that I will see you again very soon!

Te llevo en el corazon. :)

With all my heart,

-Courtney

The lack of time isn't what counts.

Beginning this blog, I'm already fighting back tears - today was such a hard day, starting at 4am, getting up and leaving Guatemala, Andres, and his family. Today I have said goodbye to professors, friends, and to people I consider my family. Not knowing when I will see any of them again, saying something clever or wise as a parting line didn't really come to me. This morning at the airport, all that I could get out was "thank you for everything" and "I love you."

This experience has been so powerful.

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Also, if you would please be praying for all of the people affected by the tornadoes in Alabama, please do - the devastation there is such a tragedy and it is drastically changing so many lives. As a student of the University of Alabama, it hits really close to home for me, and I just hope that we can get through this and rebuild. God is in control and tragedies are part of life, but it's scary to think of how quickly lives can change and/or be taken away.

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Onto the adventures of this past week!

It's overwhelming thinking of how much I have to write about, so I'll just take one day at a time.

Pretty much right after Margie, Andres and I got back from our long weekend in the national park called Corcovado, we were getting ready to leave for Guatemala! The 20th was Meagan's 21st birthday, and it was an awesome day:) We celebrated all day, and then surprised her with a birthday dinner that night! What a great time with great people.

The next morning, bright and early, we set off for Guatemala! It was Andres, me, Meagan and her mom, Margie, and History! Lots of Gringas. But let me tell you - Copa Airlines has it going on. Even though the flight from San Jose, Costa Rica to Guatemala City, Guatemala is only an hour and a half, they give you breakfast for free! Meagan and Margie were especially dazzled by those croissants, and I must say that I quite enjoyed them myself. Andres was anxious to get home, and we were all excited, but going was definitely bittersweet because it meant the end was drawing near of such an incredible chapter in our lives.

To meet us at the airport were Mariandre, (Andres' sister who is 18) and Andres' dad, Mario. From the second we got to Guatemala I felt right at home and so welcomed! Andres' family is so open and caring, and by staying at their beautiful house I could see that they love having people in their home. Being with them was such a privilege and it was amazing getting to know them all!

Here are some photos of their incredible home (and some of their 5 dogs)...

"the bachelor pad" haha

^Lucas

^^Sunrise at their house

^^Paco!!

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We all ate lunch together outside, walked around their property and got settled, and then we went to Antigua at night! It was Holy Week, so there were tons of people there, and they were having these symbolic processions through the streets over carpets that people had made out of sawdust, pine branches, flowers, etc. It was beautiful.

^^This is probably the most beautiful hotel I've ever seen, it's called the Santo Domingo. It is also in Antigua.

~ The whole group minus me! What beautiful people.

^This photo we took at Rio Dulce (Sweet River) where we stopped on our first day on the way to our hotel.

We took a boat tour down the river to this island with a really interesting castle from the year 1657....

^^ Castillo Don Felipe

Maria Jose (Majo) and Andres:)

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After the castle, we headed to our hotel, which was this horse ranch near Tikal, the largest Mayan ruins site in Central America. The hotel was quaint...that's the best word I can come up with to describe it. After checking into the hotel, we went to the Isla de Las Flores to walk around and eat - it was beautiful! The restaurant we went to took forever and the food wasn't anything spectacular, but it was a great chance for me to get to know Andres' sisters, Mariandre and Majo, better. I really enjoyed the company.

Here are a couple photos from the hotel...

A ranch would not be complete without the cutest puppies in the world.

...or without a baby horse named Perla (which means Pearl)

Andres' mom, Rosalinda, one of the most precious women I have ever met!

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We stayed in that hotel for two nights, and the first day, we went to Tikal!

And now, story time. Ever since Friday morning, I had been having a weird kind of stomach ache, wasn't really sure what it was, but I just tried to ignore it and enter into what we were doing. The first morning at the Palomino Hotel (the ranch hotel we stayed at near Tikal), I ate this amazing yogurt salad with granola and fruits. Good stuff. Little did I know that the yogurt was going to convince my stomach that it should actually be upside down. So, walking through Tikal, I wasn't feeling so great. But I kept going hoping that I could just walk it off. The second pyramid we climbed, I had that awful, unavoidable feeling in my stomach and....yes. I threw up on a Mayan pyramid. In fact, I threw up not once, not twice, but five times! I think that I eliminated from my system at least 24 hours worth of food. Man. And of course, everyone got a big kick out of it! It was the thematic element of many jokes to come throughout the week..."Hey Courtney, do you remember that time when you vomited on a pyramid?" Yep. They love me.

Here, we have Andres kindly pointing out the vomit victim...

Oh the adventures of life. The reason I look so happy in this photo is because I felt SO much better afterwards. Major improvement. And, it was pretty awesome being able to say that of all places, I threw up on a Mayan pyramid.

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After that little adventure, we kept walking through Tikal, climbing the tallest pyramid last...it was a steep climb to say the least, but such an amazing view!!!

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Tikal? Check.

After leaving the ruins, we went back to the hotel, changed super fast, and went to a lake that was just across the street to swim and watch the sunset. Cool idea? Yes. Execution was a little bit different - the lake bottom had so many sharp rocks and algae that standing up was not an option...so we tried to rough it for a few minutes, but ended up getting out, taking a few pictures of the sunset, and then going swimming in the pool at the hotel. Much cleaner. Then, there was a horse show at the hotel! It was really fun, and after the show almost everyone got to ride the horses!

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^^This is the Ceiba, the national tree of Guatemala.

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The next day we got up early and ate breakfast (I did not get yogurt), and we headed to Coban, where we were going to see some caves and an underground river! What an adventure it was! One of the caves we walked through was entirely covered with a clay/mud floor, which the Mayans actually had used to make their pottery! (so cool.) The problem is that it is sticky and slippery, and if you don't walk fast enough, you will start sinking! Meagan's mom almost lost a shoe, Andres, Mariandre and I had a mud war, Rosalinda put mud all over her face because apparently that type of mud is exfoliating, and I finally just gave in and took my shoes off, wading through the mud in my bare feet! This is how we came out....

Yeeeah. Then, we walked to another cave entrance and got tubes to float down the underground river! That was an incredible experience to be floating through a dark cave on this river... we saw some bats, lots of stalagmites, and at the end of the trip we ate raw sugarcane! ..Annd we laughed. A lot.

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I'm having to cut out some details because of how long this blog already is, but basically, we went back to Andres' house, and the next day, we went to Panajachel! It was so beautiful!!

The lake with the three volcanos...including the most famous, Atitlan!

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On Wednesday, we climbed another volcano! Yep, I have now climbed 2 volcanoes. It's amazing how different they were - this volcano, Pacayas, erupted a year ago, and so it's completely different now than it was before! Plus, you can bring eggs, meat, and marshmallows if you want up to the top, and there are plenty of rocks and caves where you can cook! It's crazy. Something funny about climbing that volcano, was that once you park your car, these guides and their horses immediately start following you as you walk up the volcano, knowing that eventually, the thought of riding a horse instead of walking will be a very attractive idea. The moms caved near the beginning of the hike, but us kids just let the other horses follow us up to the top! It was about 2 hours, and pretty steep - plus, because of the eruption it was mainly volcanic sand. My Chacos had quite the trip....

hahaha. And here we are in a cave-like part up near the crater...a natural Sauna.

It was amazing.

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And for our last day together, we went to Antigua to walk around and enjoy that beautiful city.

^^Best nachos you will ever have.

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Annnd for the grand finale, we played paintball. An amazing thing to do on our last day together! It was such a blast!

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Our last dinner together was hard but so good - the food was amazing, and afterwards we played Ninja (an amazing game) and Telestrations (another amazing game). But, by the time it was 12:30, we knew it was time to go to bed... The week had gone by so fast.

Saying goodbye to Andres and his family (and now I consider them mine too) was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do! But this experience, the friendships, and the memories can't ever be taken away from me - I am so incredibly blessed to have been a part of these people's lives this past year, and I'm overflowing with the joy of shared experience and of love for them! Nothing will ever be able to replace this adventure or these people in my heart. I thank God for this opportunity and I hope that one day, my road will lead me back.

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With all my heart,

Courtney